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The secret lives of domestic abuse victims



If you are a Teen ...

  • You could be a victim of abuse, or at risk if you are dating someone who
  •  You will be very jealous and/or spies on you.
  •  Others will not let you break off the relationship.
  • Others mayhurts you in any way, is violent, or brags about hurting other people.
  • Others puts you down or makes you feel bad.
  • They forces you to have sex or makes you afraid to say no to sex.
  • Abuses drugs or alcohol; pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
  • They has a history of bad relationships and blames iton others. 
  • A victim often senses that the abuser is becoming edgy and more prone to lash out at trivial frustrations.
  •  The victim may learn to anticipate abuse and try to control it by being more nurturing and compliant or by simply staying out of the abuser’s way. This phase is marked by many “minor” abusive actions that gradually increase in severity.
  • Quite often the event which will trigger the battering phase is initiated by the abuser who may make a demand which the victim cannot meet, and responds to her/his refusal or inability to act with violent behavior.
  • Abuse victims often accept the building rage in a partner as being legitimately directed towards her/him.
  • The victim internalizes the responsibility of keeping the situation from exploding. If she/he does their job well, the abusive partner will become or remain calm; if she/he fails, the victim believes it is their own fault.
  • A victim who has been battered over time knows that she/he can do nothing to stop the tension from building, but often denies this knowledge to help cope with the partner’s behavior.


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